just turn around

as of right now, i've got...less than 3 days before i leave. i'm still not done packing. i've not spent nearly enough time with anyone and i'm not remotely ready to leave. the excitement that i had at the prospect of leaving is gone. i know i was warned of this happening, but heck, what else could i do to prepare for it?

it's the oddest sensation to hear people making plans for any day next week and then realizing that they are all carrying on with their lives as usual, but i won't be around for it. i don't care how self-centered that sounds :) it IS just really odd and i can't seem to put the right words in the right order to explain it. i know a hanful of people who can't wait to leave, or who would feel nothing but excitement to get away from the country, but i am definitely not one of them. and yes, i'm a stereotypical student leaving for a new country-i couldn't possible forget that with my sis patting me on the head and going "kay, everyone feels that way. you're just a stereotype!"- and for once, i've no problems being a stereotype, as long as it means i'm not the only numbnut who feels like this.

it sucks to think that my last few days will pretty much be filled with mood swings from all parties (ie my parents and i), but that's only customary. i'm excited to be starting studying again, but i just wish leaving wasn't such a difficult thing to do. this is perhaps that one time it's not easier to leave than be left behind.

btw, my left ankle hurts inexplicably and my right foot's bruised from running and jumping on the foot-reflexology stones in the park. ( thanks des :)) so i'll be limping around in unusual clothes for the next few days. hope to see you all, people!

i still hope i'm doing the right thing.

and yes, i know this was a terribly whiny post :)