i do know one thing though

having a day off today (; slept in and it's a beautiful day. absolutely. when you leave stores, the less grumpy attendants urge you to enjoy the rest of your sunny day. But honestly, it's warmer today at 14 degrees than it was yesterday at 17.

Recently, though, been surprised at how more people than i thought take me to be some...well, whatever the opposite of a fair-weather friend is. A foul-weather friend? Something like that, I'm sure. But yea, since when has that been my role? Surely that's unfair. I want to be there for the good things too. Yes, i do want to know if something bad's happened, and as far as i can, I want to be there for you, but when you ONLY tell me of the shitty things that've happen, when you only talk to me because eveyone else is busy and you know that i'll make time for you, when you only look for me because you need someone on your side, what am i supposed to take from all this? You never promised me the same frienship i did, and though i had, at one time, hoped that you would, i never expected it. I don't think you know just how much i don't tell you anymore. i don't think you've changed. And i know you're trying. very, very little. But you're trying and i appreciate it, though my appreciation is directly proportinal to the effort you're putting in. I know i am allowed to feel angry at you. And you, you just exhausted me. I don't know what else i can say to you. What do you want?

But no, this still doesn't ruin my gorgeously sunny day. I'm not stewing over it anymore, i might have been before this, but not right now. not today :) if you people assume that this is how our friendship works, i'll live with it. Or not. We'll see how i'm feeling. But now, yea, i'm just trying to keep the blog updated so that Tani (who seems to have disappeared from my blogosphere over the past...day :D) has something to do <3

and anyone else who's reading this, honestly, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die honestly, if you have a problem or anything has upset you and you want to share that with me, don't let this put you off. Just let me know when something good happens. Or when nothng happens. Sometimes, those are the best things to hear about. But if you don't wanna share, again, trust me, i understand. Yes, i am THAT good a friend.